Blogburg

Holiday Foto Feed

2007-12-22T11:25:00.001-08:00

You'll get it all right here.

Bloggity Christmas!

2007-12-22T11:06:00.001-08:00

Hey nabisco or pop secret or whoever makes pringles, I've got an
awesome way for you to make money off of the positively charged
emotions associated with Christmas! Make some special seasonal potato
chips called kringles.
Give the dude on the can a red hat and a beard and flavor the chips
with seasonal suprises like pumpkin pie and egg nog. There's a million
dollar idea there.

The Princess and the Pitch

2007-10-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

The majority of most Americans have sleeping problems. This is evident in the data I have gather from countless hours of inteligel and sleep-number bed commercials. According to a international sobakawa pillow expert the most important aspect of a healthy sleep system is "ZU-KAN-SOKU-NETSU", but I will put to you in the following essay that more important is a flat sleeping surface.
For the last 6 months or so Becky and I have been trying to find a new bed, ours doesn't cut the mustard. The reason it doesn't have any good mustard cutting abilities (Tim Kring, give me a call) is because it has a westward slant. This could be useful if I was stranded in the Andes with nothing but my mattress to guide me, but for sleeping... NOPE! It's like sleeping on a trampoline every night, an evil trampoline that has no middle, just an endless mobius strip of slantiness. I have to fight against this slope or face the floor smacking consequences. I have tried to come up with some possible solutions. I tried to find those astronaut sleep harness things, but apparently you have to have been to the moon at least twice to get on the catalog mailing list. I also thought of velcroizing the bed, but i sleep in the nude and that means only one part of me would have the necessary velcro bonding attributes (the pubey part). We figured that the best solution would be to simply buy a new bed.
But lo! A revelation came to me as it were a night vision. It hit me like a ton of epiphanies, check the frame. Check the frame indeed I did, and to my chagrin, the box spring was all skiddywompum on the frame. We don't need a new bed. Over six months I've been in a perpetual night-time slide, and I never thought to readjust the frame. Who's the dope? This guy, he's the dope.

Enough vlog to choke a camel

2007-10-02T00:44:00.000-07:00

Oh the days...

2007-08-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

Caloo Callay!

2007-07-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

Indeed it is a most funderful day, we have a new member of our family. We have decided to call him Staby San Giacomo McRips-a-lot. He was birthed at 7:35 pm on Sunday in the toilet. That little bastard better be grateful that I didn't flush him, I plan to hang that over his head his whole life, which won't be that long, because I'm taking him to the lab where I hope they perform all sorts of painful tests on him. There's one partucular one I'm especially excited for where they shove a hot iron up his urethra.

Rock of Love Starring Bret Michaels

2007-07-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

I had a dream about a week ago that I was pregnant and went into
labor. It was a pretty confusing dream so I looked up some common
interpretations. They were all pretty good stuff like, I have an
important new idea, or there's a large amount of money coming my way.
But yesterday morning I figures out the true prognostication of that
dream; I am, in fact, going to be a daddy!
I have kidney stones again so I'm totally laid up for the next few
days. If anyone wants to come over and play bomberman give me a ringle.

Sent from my iPhone

Hola

2007-07-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Here's a shout out to my eternal Del Taco companion, bex.

I'm like the Rouge of entertainment media

2007-07-23T17:29:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post about this for a while, but was stuck in http://limbo.com.
I'm probably the best go karter around, you know. I went last week and was burning rubber and melting faces all over the place. And you know why I'm so good? Because I have a problem playing too many videogames.
Now this has been a secret hypothesis of mine for some time now. Secret because anytime I mention it I get laughed at, but its now been scientifically proven! Me playing games or watching movies containing a certain activity actually makes me better at those activities real-world counterpart. The go karting proved that to me; i was turning corners so tight it'd snap off your johnson. Now this leaves only one more aspect of this matter unsettled, I've always felt that if the situation were right I could summon up some latent, impressed Kung fu abilities. If need be, maybe even throw some fireballs.

Wait just a minute!

2007-07-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

How is this even possible?

That Old-Time Feeling

2007-07-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of potentially moving my blogs cross-continent from my lonely little .mac page to a big ol' blogger account. But don't worry, all y'alls, I won't forget my roots. I promise to keep that old-time feeling, the one our forefathers fought and died for. Now, does anyone know where I can get some dancing baby gifs?